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My two cents worth of stories.



me



16 (:
4th Oct 1993
PCS XMS
107'06 207'07 310'08 409'09 502'10
SJAB
SLB


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affiliates

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AC3'07
AC3 #-01 Ismail
AC3 #-02 Kah Lun
AC3 #-03 joel
AC3 #-04 siew beng
Adam Sir
Adrian Sir
Amelia
Audrey
Asyurah
Bernice
Bernie CL
BNCO Biqi
BNCO Hui Min
BNCO nicole
BNCO Xue Wei
Charmaine
Celine
Chella
Cherie
Ching Ting
Clarinda
CVSS Feng Yuan
CVSS jasmine
CVSS Jie Shi
CVSS Patricia
CVSS Sara
CVSS Xinyi
Dave
Deepak
Elisha
Esther
Gilbert
HongYou
Isaac
Jagdave
Liying CL
Marcus Ng
Meichia
Melissa Lee
Melissa Lim
Nabilah CL
Nicole
Pauline
Peirong CL
Royce
Sarah
Shin yee
Shili
Shuxian
Terence
WenBin Sir
Wanqian
Xiaoqi


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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

lolx, back for another post, cuz dun wana make de post LOONNG so ppl wont collapse in front of their com reading my post....lolx...

okay, a few days ago, hong you had a key to unlock my door. SIMPLIFIED: hong you knows my attitude and the "insides of mi". felt damn "naked", he knows mi...>.< well, u get the point.

so i will now rite down what REALLY is causing my burdens, y im so quiet. ALSO, the following post will show A LOT of critisising of some things, i now give my words, dun later half way u read den u not happy with mi horx as i will be DEAD SERIOUS ON WAD I WILL SAY, so i will give u sometime to either prepare for wad im going to voice out or get out of my blog NOW......

























oh? so u want to listen eh? okay, i really hope that after i wirtten my true feelings out, i will be free...first thing first, it's like whenever i think of these things arh, i will always feel uncomfortable and have a REAL heartache...T_T.
1) myself: now i will tell u, like wad i said earlier, i will feel uncomfortable blah blah...so i will always SMILE to cover up my aches....well, i cant fool hong you at least....ppl ask mi,"y u always smile smile smile de? it's so.....funny..." well, now u noe le bahx, to cover up my real self.sometimes when i even think of it, i will break down into tear. cuz i am...erm...how should i put it........i always somehow "look into the future" u noe? like looking on the upcoming consequences on what might happen on the things I/we are currently doing. and it so happens that i cant think of the positive sides, i always think of the negetive sides then start to create burdens to myself and asking questions like,"what happens if this thing fails because of me? what if i do this thing wrong and everone blames me? what if...blah blah...."
now that u noe, i shall get on into my thoughts le bah.
2) i felt that i dun really have a sense of belonging anywhere bah. example: my pri sch frendz, if i keep quiet, dey bully me, if not, i laugh laugh laugh, they think im annoying, its just so....so...wrong...i dun feel safe in whatever things i do with my pri sch frendz, they think they are bonded, but with who? everytime we have gatherings, girls do girls things bois do bois things....girls "cheat" on bois, in return, boi "cheat" on girls....and im always in the middle, i want to stop this, but how? they dun wanna listen, so wad REALLY is the problem? this is one thing tt is annoying me......

3) the following is about my CCA, SJAB seniors....sorry arh..im just stating the truth on wad i observed..so if u all want to read my thoughts on de cca, u all dun hate me horx...i said it before hand...now i will give u all time to decide whether to leave my blog or carry on reading ESPECIALLY SJAB SENIORS.



















oooooooooook.....u all want to continue...i felt that the reason y our SJAB standards are dropping is because we are not bonded enough, the seniors are too power hungry, outside ppl say,"woah SJAB so good arh, win gold gold gold.....etc." but wad are we REALLY WINNING? i be frank with u all : NOTHING~! the seniors want to keep the standard of sjab, but using wad method?
i've experinced b4"ppl are late, senior Y asked, u all want to pump as a aquad or u wan de late comers to pump in a greater punishment.?"my point is, HOW CAN WE DECIDE WHILE KEEPING QUIET? so the squad answered with both A and B answer. the senior asked us the SAME questuion again. so SAME question will have the SAME answer. the senior pumped us.
so after A LOT OF TRIES, meaning staying in pumping position, doing 10 pumping every now and den.the moment was unbearable, i cried while doing pumping, i dun like the feeling seriously. how can we answer a question that has 2 options while we cant discuss? tt time i really want to shout at my seniors. but i just kept quiet....bearing the unbearables....if we are keeping on like this, i can GARANTEE NO ONE will like SJAB...occasionally, the senior asked me," y i see u all sec 1s now not so enthu alreadi arh? last time starting of the year u all cheer cheer cheer, so cute and funny.." well, answer is simple, we are siann-ed by SJAB, every session, uniform not up to standard, do 20 pump/go touch the fence and come back on sett-ed time, if over timing, run again. EVERY SJAB activity~! wasting lots of time jut doing punishment. u all said," u think i like punishing u all? i also dun like to punish u all u noe?" then y u all still punish? u all said," if we dun punish u all, dere is NO WAY u all can get better." well, i'd say tt's COMPLETELY NOT TRUE~! havent u all SJAB SENIORS NOTICED? every activity uniform not up to standard, meaning EVERY activity u all punish us.. did it work out? NO~! our uniforms are still not up to standard. why? cuz even if dey tried thier best, ONE person not up to standard, tio pumped.EVERYTIME WE GAVE OUR 100%, MEYBE EVEN 110%, u all still not stisfied.so y u all punish? my point of view: u all are too power-hungry. the sec 2s in SJAB are always punished, cos' ppl figit, ppl move, ppl...blah blah blah....everytime i realy really really pity them u noe...it's like, they really hated SJAB now, u noe y? cuz it looked like the sec 3 seniors dont like the sec 2s. OKOKOK, SEC 3 DUN LIKE SEC 2, SEC 2 DUN LIKE SEC 3. woah, then wad kind of BOND is this? then every time cheer cheer cheer, not loud not clear, cheer again, everytime the ratings of the cheer are from the seniors point of view, they sec 2 are already like that, how to cheer louder? then u all said," we cheer to enlighten our spirit and it's fun to cheer." but what are we REALLY cheering for? i'd say we cheer for the sake of cheering. on my point of view, i felt that the sec 3s can talk to them, let them feel closer to the CCA mah...rather than punish punish punish...i really dun like it..and i can sense that my sec 1 squad will going to be like the current sec 2s....i WANT AND I WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING ON SJAB WHEN I TAKE CHARGE.

another thing is my "journey" in competition team. yes, sgt adam, ismail, kah lun, joel, or maybe even zenson, im ready to take anything from u all, reagardless its good or bad, u all can hate my, u all can thank me...but im really really just stating the facts out.Ill start from numbers...
oh yeah. ill give u all more time to consider ereading the folloeing things, bet the seniors are hating me now...AND I WILL ONLY STATE THE NEGETIVE SIDE OF U ALL~! SO BE READY TO TAKE IT.

















1)ismail, i think u should be a better leader bahx...u should REALLY care for the team as a leader u noe....e.g. TOC at the HQ, when we are taking the casualty up the stairs. joel was tired, so u commanded," team put down stretcher" i said," nonono, wait wait wait" cuz i have no space.u should really look out for ur mates on any time. u canot do a things just because of one person...i felt really "suck-ed" at tt time...cuz, it was MY FAULT that i have no space? 2nd thing, i dun like ur jokes, dey are somehow cold and insulting? e.g.: sgt adam "sum larh", den occasionally u will blame any numbers like its their fault. i know u are joking, but dun u think the other party u are blaming might get emotionally hurt if they really think it's their fault?


2)kah lun, its time u should stop fooling around with joel and bullying zenson le bahx. im dead serious about this. did u noe that zenson has been covering u all from the day u bully him till now? evertimesgt adam ask zenson if they are too much, zenson plainly said NO. if i was zenson tt time, i felt veri bad for myself u noe? have a feeling for other ppl can? and can u DONT always take the easy way out? everytime sgt adam ask us to do this u and joel will bargain. do pumping u all bargained until like.....that time we have to run the parade sq 10 rounds. we did other things like leopard crawling....blah blah....i ask u...AC 2 can run 15+ rounds, NC can run ++9 rounds, GB can run ++10 rounds, WHHY CAN'T WE? PLEASE~!!!!!!!!!

3) joel, id say u are so called the "worst" in the team. did u noe u have missed a lot of things in our trngs? u duno CPR, u havent learn BURN AND TRETMENTS FOR THEM, u duno most of the timings u noe y? firstly tt time u say u HAVE TO BABYSIT COUSIN, can u bring him to ttrng? another time u have cathotic thingy....ok, tt i can understand, but u oni informed us like the day b4 trng? u noe how irrespoinsible are u? and u are always the first one to sidetrack, making fun of zenson while having first aid lessons, sgt adam ask u stop u say u noe the chapter liao. sgt adam test u, u oni can giv 50% of the correct answer den u argued," at least i good enough wad..." u think it's enough of comp team? if u giv oni 50% ans means u will oni get 50% of the mark.and ur timing....IT OBVIOUSLY SLACKING FOR duno wad bloody reasons...it's like since ur spinal injury ur timing has slacked. im not saying ur timinng is too slow, just that ur timing do not have a stable timing, one minute ur timing is fast, the next slow. u might think its not obvious, but it IS when u are not giving timing. u always think that xinmin sjab is the best, i really hated ur attitude during the trng at HQ, there was another sch marching, sgt adam said,'woah dey improved so fast..." u said,"aiya xinmin sjab still de best.." u think so? if we dun train, u think we can stay in ur so called "best' position? to me, im just being frank with u, u are currenly having the wrong attitude towards comp team.

4)mi, u all think,"eh, wa lao, u faggot larh, oni say ppl's bad point never say ur one." bt seriously, i really cant think of any bad points i have...

5)zenson, seriously, zenson is good, i dun really have any negetive comments on him. HIM, u are improving fast lerh. especially on hentak.footdrill improving...

haiix...still cant really make this feeling go away....


Signed out @ 12/20/2006 08:44:00 PM